How Would You Like To Be Labeled?

There is a local haberdasher in Lincoln, Gary Michaels' Clothiers, that sells suits and such. They have radio commercials in which they list a bunch of name brands, Ralph Lauren, Burberry, Izod, Tommy Hilfiger, Calvin Klein etc. and at the end of the commercial, they say "How do you want to be labeled?" I want to be labeled in good words:

erudite, severe, polymath,
cineast, stalworth, sapid;
with: sprachgefuhl, aplomb;
jocund, meliphpagous, couth,
gastronome, trencherman, clement,
latitudinarian, daedal, toothsome,

and last but not least--thelyphthoric